Let me just preface this by saying i love metal. I grew up listening to Slayer, Megadeth, Black Sabbath, Skinny Puppy, and those are just the ones I didn’t see in moldy basements. I loved it all. I’ve always loved all kinds of music. Metal made me feel like no matter how fucked up I was, I always had a place to belong. I could get mad, and not be derided as anti-feminine. Now that I’m a musician, I’ve played for all types of audiences, and without fail, metal audiences are the most close-minded to unfamiliar or new music. While I understand we are not a metal band, I also believe that we fit on the same soundtrack, as it were. I find that jazz and metal audiences have the same problem, really. They get so caught up in the classification of sub genres that they forget to listen. They cling to the idea of what metal is supposed to sound like, and keep it from ever growing or changing. And this isn’t even limited to the music! For example, Obituary are grown-ass men with families. Most of them want to cut their hair, but they can’t, because that would mean that they are no longer metal. When we play a metal show, we only go over well if we play a Misfits cover. It’s like, we are too far from metal for them to like it, forgetting that we aren’t even trying to fit that mold. Once we play a cover that they like, they tend to stop hating us. It’s as if they realize we are into the same music they like, an all the sudden we become familiar. What I’ll never understand of metal audiences, is their inability to accept change and growth even with the bands they love. If no one ever innovated, metal would have never even been born. Who knows what would happen next if they let it?
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month.
April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, (SAAM), and National Child Abuse Prevention Month, two causes that are very important to me. I’ve never spoken publicly about my experiences, because I’ve never had the courage to. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My hands are trembling as I type this. It took me a long time to be ok. Childhood sexual abuse has influenced every single part of my life, and I think about it every day. I don’t remember any of my childhood before the abuse began. My earliest memories are in fact, of abuse. As I got older and the man who abused me mercifully disappeared from my life, I found that what had happened to me wasn’t proper to talk about. It wasn’t comfortable, and we couldn’t change it, so what was the use? I bottled it up for years, shying away from relationships and intimacy until I turned to alcohol in my early 20’s. I tried to drink so much that for once I couldn’t remember what had happened. I didn’t have anyone to talk to. It was too painful, too raw, and I saw that pain as a burden to the people around me. I felt as though there was a part of my soul that had been irreparably damaged. There were times when I thought I would never, could never be happy. Eventually I sought therapy, and worked through the complex emotions, like fish hooks in a bowl. Pull one out, and a mad tangle would follow. We untangled them one by one, and worked through it. Slowly, I got better. I started a healthy relationship with the love of my life, Byrne Klay. I learned to take my body back, and release myself from any blame or responsibility in what had happened. The man who abused me was never brought to justice. I made peace with that, and forgave him for what he did to me, in my own way. Our album Dead Woman Walkin’ was my catharsis. That album was me working though it, and laying that ghost to rest. The girl that was defined by childhood trauma and abuse was also laid to rest, and my tribute to her was the strong woman I had become. I learned to love myself, and let go. I haven’t had nightmares in years, and it gets better every day. In 2011 alone, 61,472 cases of child sexual abuse were reported in the Unites States. While that is a staggering number, at least we are talking about it. We are confronting a horrific problem in our society, and providing help for children, teens, and families coping with the aftermath of sexual abuse. My heart goes out to all of you that have gone though something similar. I know your pain, and I care about whether you are ok or not. I care about you. The only thing we can do to fix this is to talk about it, raise our children to communicate and know the difference between which kind of behaviors are ok, and which behaviors constitute abuse. Making the subject of childhood sexual abuse taboo only serves to protect pedophiles. Parents, please talk to your children, and listen to them when they are trying to talk to you. Teach them how to protect themselves. How can they know if they are being abused, if they don’t know what abuse is? If you or someone you know is struggling, please visit the site below.
There is help out there. There are resources. It’s not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. You did not deserve it. You are cared for. You are loved, and you have immeasurable worth.
http://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/national-sexual-assault-awareness-month%20
thrashhologram asked: It was fantastic meeting you guys tonight at Tidball's. I don't think we were formally introduced, but I'm Brent and you liked my key necklace. I hope you guys make it back this way sometime soon. You're truly a band that is a breath of fresh air and I'm thankful to have heard you guys perform. I know I'm probably bugging you about the song I liked most, but I'm curious... Are there any love recordings on YouTube or elsewhere of the first track you played?
Not yet! It’s called We are Hegemon. It will be on the next album. IDK when we’ll get a video up…we just don’t have a lot of resources. Thank you for liking it!
